Unschooling

We had an interesting discussion about unschooling on our facebook group page. I summarized it here.
The article we reacted was posted on 2 April 2014 here:
http://yes-i-can-write.blogspot.co.uk/2014/04/unschooling-isnt-more-risky-its-just.html?m=1

In the UK you don't have to ask permission from anyone, because the law allows parents to retain full responsibility for their child's education. I treasure our laws in this area, because it's so clear. You could find area specific information on Facebook groups if/when you do move out of the UK.

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I don't teach, and I am not their teacher. I facilitate. I'm not trying to pass my knowledge to them, I'm trying to help them get knowledge for themselves - teaching isn't the means by which knowledge passes from person to person, LEARNING is, and that's an important distinction because my children are people in their own right (now) rather than future people or projects. Even in school, the person in control of what is learned and not learned is really the child. Trying to find ways to rob them of control is not as powerful as giving them more choices and more help to do what they already do as naturally as breathing.

What subjects or skills are needed in real life that a person would never come across in real life? If something isn't useful, it isn't used. If something is useful, it IS used, and children see it and imitate it and want to master it. All children strive. All children observe. All children learn. They can't help it; it's what human beings are.

In school, subjects are divorced from their purpose, so they seem purposeless. I hated maths and resented every bit I was forced to study. I learned no more than the basics any unschooled seven year old could tell you just from seeing numbers around them in the real world. At the end of my schooling I learned to manage money and reckon weights and measures. Now I use algebra in pattern design all the time. My kids use grid references to play games and notate landmarks in Minecraft. They make graphs to show me how they sorted their collections. They use mathematical thinking every day, without calling it maths. It isn't a pointless subject to them, because they have never been asked to study it. They have just been curious. Now, one of them loves numbers so much she worked out how to multiply fractions (at 6) without any help from me (I still can't multiply fractions).

Unschooling isn't just "not school", it's eliminating schoolish thinking too, so that we can learn and make real life choices without that programming (which almost everyone in our culture has). Unpicking the ways in which school inflitrated how we see the world is part of that, for the parents.  Unschooling is the specific style of home education that involves children making all of their own choices about what, and how, and when, to learn - it involves adult helpers facilitating and supporting and advising and offering, but not controlling, coercing, or teaching in any way. The main parental requirement for unschooling is willingness to genuinely take the child's choices seriously and pay attention to ways in which you can help (or get our own ego out of the way, as necessary).

Also, unschooling is definitely not the route for any parent who is not willing or able to give the time and attention necessary, or for any family in which the home environment is not safe and happy. If you have academic goals which you believe your child must meet to be worthy, unschooling will not work without unpicking that thinking. If you believe children need to be controlled externally, it's not for you. Every child is already an unschooler when allowed, but every parent is not! I was not, when my children were younger, and I was not prepared for how much it would change me to embrace their natural way of learning. Reading about unschooling made me actually angry to begin with! Who were these people to tell me that what I was doing was not helpful for my child's learning?! The key is to try *a little*, WATCH, wait, say yes one time you would have said no, not try to exchange the school in your head for a new set of rules.)

 I do still struggle with thinking I'm "bad at maths" or "good at English", but having a child who is gifted with numbers has helped a great deal. I'm not qualified to teach her, but I'm actually perfectly able to help her learn - even something I find really hard. In unschooling, and all parenting in general, I don't think children need someone who knows it all, has everything figured out already - they just need a real human being, someone a little more experienced than them at living, someone a little bit taller for reaching the high shelves, to help and support.

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I am (now) a fan of Sandra Dodd and how clearly she writes and how precisely she defines what she's talking about - you can read everything in her books, on her site http://sandradodd.com/ - Fair warning, she's one of the writers that really got my back up when Jenna was very small though (because she is always very to the point even when feelings are a little bruised, no apologies for bluntness and no fakey hearts and flowers, she just says, "take a break from reading and come back to the idea another time" haha)! Now I know her style I appreciate it a lot more. HELP is a great page on her site (it's the hub for the "how to" pages).

Author: Sarah Clarks

Babywearing history from Wrap Your Baby

source: http://wrapyourbaby.com/blog/2013/02/cultural-babywearing/

“I wish they had those when my babies were little!”

We modern babywearers often hear this sentiment ridiculously often.  I would be surprised to meet a babywearer who hasn’t been told this at least once.   Yet our baby carriers are modeled after carriers that have been used around the world for centuries.  The period of time in which European and American babies have not been worn, is really a very short gap and we are now returning to something more workable than strollers and bucket seats.  We are going back to something simple and functional.

If the theories in this article are correct, we are going back to one of early man’s first and most basic tools.  http://newhumanist.org.uk/2330/slings-arrows

So while babywearing is not new, it is not something that most of our grandparents had any exposure to.  No one did it.  

Read more on the Wrap Your Baby site!

Am I disposable?

"I can see many broken families with one or more children nowadays. After having two - three children people just get a divorce. Why is that happening?" - I asked Jenny.
"We live in a disposable world." - She said.

We had a long conversation today about attachment and parenting walking in Markeaton Park. I feel empowered again. :)

REVIEW - Liliputi Stretchy Wrap

Source: Liliputi

Liliputi Stretchy Wrap comes in many different colours.
It is actually beautifully designed. I used this wrap when my son was born and did not actually put it away until he was heavy for the stretchy half a year later. I tell you here my experience using it for months and trying it again now when my son is much older. This is only my story and my point of view. It is not a judgement, neither a recommendation. (just saying)

Let's have a look at what they offer on their website.

The perfect baby carrier for newborn and young babies
- Yes, I agree, it is very soft and easy to pre-tie.

Feels like in mom's belly
- I cannot value this one...I do not remember how I felt in my mums' belly. :) But should be good as babies seem to sleep hours in this wrap.

From newborn, till up to 9 kgs
- As I could not do front or hip carry after 6 kg - I could not use stretchy any longer. My son is 17 months old today and still not yet 10 kg... I cannot really imagine to wear him in this wrap, specially that I tried to put him on my back with it as per instructions and it did not work out. He just moved a little bit and the fabric let him lean back and side to side as I asked him to wiggle. I also try to put him on front and it was still awesome! I do not think that it would last for hours but for couple of minutes it was great. 

Easier to tie then a woven wrap
- It is possible to make  a pre-tie which needs to be redo every now and then and it can make you feel that it is more secure to put your baby in the wrap. I would not say, though, that it is easier to tie than a woven because there  with a woven are so many techniques you can choose from which can fit somebody more. Anyway I feel that every single carrier has its own advantage and cannot be compared to each other. They are all fruits but one apple, one pear...

Stylish designs, unique patterns
- This is very true, I am in love with the colours and the patterns. I felt really proud walking outside and get all the comments how nice my wrap was.

Hidden large pocket
- It is there but right behind the baby's back which makes me a bit worried that parents might actually use it  to put their phones, keys, etc in there which could hurt the baby and also put an extra pressure on the baby's spine. I used it for small cut of textiles, tissue - maybe.

Parallelogram-like endings for easier tying
- As the wrap comes in one size, it is long enough so the end did not really bother me - but I can imagine that for someone bigger then me (if it is ever possible:) ), this can be an issue as the wrap ends are actually cut, so cannot really tie them as safe as needed.

Machine washable
- This is fantastic.

Certified OekoTex 100 Fabrics
- Well done.

Designed & made in the EU
- I like that - specially like small family businesses who grow with time and are still able to focus on their customers' needs.

Composition:
wrap – 97% cotton, 3% spandex
decor – 100% cotton

The decor cover at the baby's back is not stretchy which is great, it makes the wrap feel safer for me.

Sizes
length – 5 meters
width – 60 cm

I was happy with the size.

And their instructions.

http://www.liliputi.hu/public/content/Strechy_Wrap_manual.pdf

All in all it is a great wrap, soft and cuddly and it is perfect for newborns, specially for premature babies. I would say that it is a good wrap for twin carry in the first couple of months, too. I think the age, weight limit and the back carry should be reconsidered. Otherwise if you want a wrap for the first months to enjoy skin-to-skin this is a perfect one.

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Please note that the reviews you can read here are not recommendations and not intended to value any sling or carrier over the other. These reviews are based on parents feedbacks and experience. You might feel differently as there is no two babywearers who would have the same size, body shape or baby to carry.

Read these lines only as guidance and as notes from our everyday lives. Thanks! 

Babywearing helped us out today!

Thank you so much, YOU, unnamed stranger mum who carried your child in a carrier first time ever zillions years ago! Thank you! I am so grateful that we have babywearing, that we all have this skill and that manufacturers make our lives easier with all these beautiful and useful carriers. Also I am very happy that I can benefit from this common knowledge and use back carries in so many different styles.

Today, right after our baby signing class, we stayed out for a lunch. I do not know what was wrong or what my son ate yesterday or this morning that could cause such an upset stomach. Had a very bad accident in the nappy.

I could give him a clean nappy and one piece of T-shirt. (+Shoes, hat and a cardigan) No trousers, socks, bodies... NADA! As we were just left for 1,5 hours and he do not goes out more than one a day any more.

We were not far from home but this short walk could have make him cold easily.
I cannot carry him in the front for a long walk any more, he is too heavy for me. But I just pictured him running around me naked on the street and I felt immediately grateful for my SSC.

What I figured that in the carrier I can make him sit on my scarf (which I usually wear) and could wrap his legs. A wrap would have been even better this time...
Anyway he fall asleep on my back by the time we got home. (This happens nowadays any time I wrap him or put him in a carrier which is a bit unusual from a 17 months old boy.)

Babywearing safety leaflet

Thank you for this great leaflet to Slingababy team and Lorette. 

Babywearing is a Skill

"Babywearing simply means holding or carrying a baby or young child using a cloth baby carrier. Holding babies is natural and universal; baby carriers make it easier and more comfortable, allowing parents and caregivers to hold or carry their children while attending to the daily tasks of living. Babywearing helps a new dad put a fussy newborn to sleep. It allows a new mom use both hands to make a sandwich. It lets an experienced parent or caregiver carry a baby on her back and wash the dishes, do the laundry, take a hike, or weed the garden, all while keeping the baby safe and content.

Babywearing is a Skill

There are many baby carriers on the market. However, a commercial baby carrier is not necessary for babywearing. Many people use simple pieces of cloth to safely and comfortably carry their babies. Additionally, there is a learning curve with any baby product, including commercial baby carriers. Parents and caregivers often benefit from thinking of babywearing as a skill they can learn, rather than as the result of a product they can buy. Many babywearing techniques can be learned in just a few minutes. Some techniques, such as carrying a baby on your back, take more time and practice to master, but the extra effort is rewarded with liberation and increased comfort."

Source: Babywearing International